Parenting Resources

PRESENTER: Aaron Weintraub, MS 

Help Your Child with ADHD or AutismDoes your child have trouble connecting with others? Are you unsure about how to help?

Thu, Nov 16, 2017 8:15 PM – 9:15 PM EST

register for free parenting class

Self-awareness and self-acceptance are the foundations of your child’s social life. Parents often struggle to strengthen these capacities in children.

During this live, online class you will gain practical skills that will help your child to:
– Build strong, healthy, lasting relationships
– Become more aware of himself and his surroundings
– Accept herself and accept those around her exactly as they are

Presenter: Aaron Weintraub, MS

Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

If you are actually supporting your adult children who are over 50 years old and perceive that support to be co-dependence, I encourage you to do a few things:

  • Consider what you are getting out of this support – what is your motivation and are their other more positive ways you could get those needs met?
  • Reflect on any ways that your own childhood may be influencing these behaviors and work with a trusted friend, family member, faith leader or therapist to identify those issues and address them.
  • Apologize to your kids for treating them like they are incapable if indeed there are no mental or physical deficits that justify this continued financial support.
  • Consider using Al-Anon or other support groups to examine your tendency toward co-dependence. A sponsor can be a big help and you might find that your co-dependence is not only in relation to your children.
  • Ask for support from loved ones and other trusted people in your life to make a plan to reduce and finally eliminate this support if you don’t believe it is the right thing for you and your children. Make a plan with dollar amounts diminishing over a planned period of time until the support ends if that is your goal.
  • Be kind to yourself in this process. You started this arrangement out of love for your kids and you likely didn’t recognize the ways this dependence might not actually be supportive to them. None of us are perfect parents and almost all of us are always trying to do our best.

This is challenging when you have an ex-spouse situation wherein the ex provides unlimited funds without any expectations and you, as the other parent, are trying to instill some sort of financial responsibility

You are absolutely right about that but you can make a difference if you can make a financial arrangement with your child that is both firm and friendly. Set up your agreement and keep it. You are powerless over your ex-spouse but you can model a relationship with your adult child that is empowering and respectful. Refrain from lecturing or commenting about your child’s other parents in any negative ways. Your willingness to treat your adult child like he or she is capable and competent can be impactful in the long run even if it doesn’t look like it right now.

There is a lot of conflict with my daughter and husband/father and they triangulate through me on all these issues.  I think we should see a family counselor together

Well, you could see a counselor together but you might try talking with your daughter and her husband and let them know that you want to support them both and will encourage your daughter to go back to her husband when she has issues with him. Express your confidence in their ability to work things out and their wisdom to know when to seek a counselor to help. I think that relationship between your daughter and her husband should take priority. If her father wants to meet with a counselor to help him improve his relationship with his daughter, you can certainly suggest that idea. If you and your husband and daughter want to see a counselor, that might help. But it is entirely your job to step out of that triangulation. You can tell your daughter and husband that you will listen to their concerns but you don’t want to be the go-between in any way and trust them to work it out, even if you don’t like how they do it! You can’t really be triangulated with your participation, so send them loving energy and step back and get support for yourself while you watch them struggle and hope they can find their way out of these conflicts. Accepting your own powerlessness with adult children is, from my point of view, one of our biggest challenges.

 

 

My daughter is postponing payment of her student loans.  I’m concerned about the interest accumulating.  I’m also concerned with her job choice – she makes money as an online burlesque dancer.  I feel like she could do so much better.

I can certainly understand your concerns and because your daughter is an adult, your work will be to accept your powerlessness for now. I started the online class with a story about a famous writer who went in a lot of different directions before he found his way. This may be a temporary direction for your daughter. Try to understand her goals in doing this work and help her think about other ways she can accomplish those goals. Ask if she would like to think together with you about a spending and savings plan for the future. Use an I-statement and get support from friends and family to accept your powerlessness, step back and maintain a positive relationship with your daughter even though you don’t approve of her current approach to life.

My daughter has a full time job, but because of loans can’t afford to move out of our home.  It’s so hard not to make comments on what she’s spending money on and her decisions.  Any advise?

 

Hopefully you got some ideas about how to structure your agreements with your child about finances. I believe that adult children should make a contribution to room and board while living at home and that you develop the contract we mentioned during the class. However, once you have a financial agreement, I would refrain from comment unless she gives you permission to express your point of view. You could certainly offer to help her develop a budget or saving and spending plan to assist her with reaching her goals. And it is important that you recognize it is she who has to come up with those goals. I think we mentioned in our conversation that it is important to plan a time frame for your child living at home if that is important to you. But just commenting on her spending will likely not be productive nor help her improve her finances… and those comments could easily lead to conflict or distance between you.

 

 

babies and sleep routinesSat, Nov 4, 2017
9:30 AM – 10:15 AM EDT

Babies’ brains are prewired to enjoy rhythm and melodies. Including rhythms and song into daily activities organizes young children’s experience and helps them to learn the ways you want to do things in your family. Parents will hear about how to create family routines that work for parents and meet infants and toddlers needs.

Infants and toddlers are learning everyday what to expect from us and from the world around them. It helps when parents recognize what they want to teach their young children and how to do it. Babies’ brains are prewired to enjoy rhythm and melodies and these can be used to teach children positive behaviors and how to connect in positive ways. Participants in this live online class will be able to identify and apply easy, every day practices that:

  • register for free parenting classStrengthen positive connections between parents and young children
  • Help babies and toddlers learn the ways you want to do things in your family
  • Create family routines that both work for parents and meet the needs of infants and toddlers

This live online parenting class is designed for parents of infants and toddlers.

PRESENTER: JoAnn Robinson, PhD 

Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

keeping-kids-safe-onlineTue, Oct 24, 2017
8:15 PM – 9:15 PM EDT

When children and teens connect to the internet, they enter a wide open space not supervised well or at all by adults. Parents are challenged to sort out guidelines and strategies to protect their children in this busy arena that is both alluring and seemingly out of parent reach.

online parenting classThis class is designed for parents of children ages 2 – 12 years old. Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

 

Sat, Oct 21, 20179:30 AM – 10:30 AM EDT

Studies show that teens who feel they can talk with their parents are less likely to engage in risky behaviors such as promiscuity, substance use, violence, etc.

Talking isn’t lecturing.

This live, online class will strengthen your listening as well as talking skills in ways that will help protect your teens and maybe even save your sanity. 

This class is designed for parents of teenagers, ages 12 – 20.

Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

Thu, Oct 12, 20178:15 PM – 9:15 PM EDT

Parents often don’t recognize hidden stressors in children’s lives. This live, online class will examine such stressors and help participants more effectively use the parent-child relationship to achieve positive change.

register for free parenting classSelf-regulation refers to how we manage stress and this class will teach parents how they can help children learn to help themselves. Children who have self-regulation skills tend to have more self-control with much less effort.

Class participants will apply strategies that help children improve their mood, attention and concentration.

This class is designed for parents of children ages 2 – 12.

Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

toilet-training-peaceathomeparenting-registerSat, Sep 30, 2017
10:00 AM – 10:45 AM EDT

Virtually all books about toilet training emphasize that toddlers have observable signals of readiness. One facet of readiness that is usually overlooked is the development of a cooperative parent-child relationship. When parents understand the basics of cooperation development they will appreciate that the foundations of toilet training begin much earlier.

Participants in this live online class will be able to take away:

  • Key ideas about the role of our relationship with our child in toilet training 
  • Fun and easy ways to support the development of cooperation starting as early as the child’s first year 
  • Positive parenting solutions for supporting a smooth transition to toilet training. 

This live online parenting class is designed for parents of infants, toddlers, and preschoolers.

PRESENTER: JoAnn Robinson, PhD

Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

Price: $15.00 USD

back to school Parents often tell me they want to have fun in that last week before school starts. They might regret trips not taken, summer visions not realized, promises not quite kept. So – it might be amusement parks or beach days or treats or whatever the parents’ fantasy of the ideal summer that wasn’t realized.

Take a breath. Consider telling yourself a different story. And try to see it from your child’s point of view.

Yes, they want to have fun. Fun is an essential ingredient in positive attachments, child development and family life. But it is just one ingredient among other important gifts we give our children that they really need.

They need a “holding environment” that supports them to grow and develop into happy, connected, successful adults. Even if you don’t feel like you are one of those, you can raise children who can grow into just that kind of adult!

Here are some suggestions for making the transition back to school one that will inspire your child to be positive and productive.

  1. Talk with your child over the course of the next week or even after school starts and ask some of these questions:
    • What’s one thing you wished you had done this summer that didn’t happen?
    • What is one thing about the start of school that you are looking forward to?
    • What’s your biggest concern about going back to school?
    • What’s one way you want to be different this coming school year?
    • What is one goal you want to accomplish at school this year?
  1. Call a family meeting
    • Agree on one or two fun things you will do as a family before school starts. If everyone can’t agree, let the kids know parents will make the decision unless they want to try to meet one more time in order to try to come to agreement together.
    • If you don’t already do so, talk together about making family meetings a regular part of your schedule.
    • Make a plan to transition bedtime and wake up time gradually – include the kids in creating the plan.
    • Review day to day family schedule changes and invite children’s suggestions about how to best carry out the schedule.
    • Review chores and household roles – invite children’s input into how you will all contribute to getting things done.
    • Review family rules and see if they need to be updated (or create them together). Ask kids for their suggestions about what kind of consequences will help them remember to follow rules, get chores done and keep agreements. Make sure you understand that you need to follow the rules as well. Make consequences for yourself if necessary. (I did this with my 12 year old daughter and 13 year old foster son when we were trying to reduce sarcasm – I had more consequences than they did!)
  1. Consider your own emotions and needs during this transition
    • Notice with care how you feel about the start of school. What was the start of school like for you as a child? What kind of memories does it bring back? In what ways do these memories drive how you do this with your kids – both positively and maybe negatively?
    • Talk with your partner, a family member, friend or other trusted person about your feelings and needs during this transition.
    • Make a plan to take care of yourself. Remember, in order to have self-control, kids need the ability to regulate their stress (and they do have stress) and they learn that from your modeling and your teaching. Keep in mind our teacher Aaron Weintraub’s suggestion about creating a calming phrase. Mine is often, “I’ve got this.” (No I don’t always believe it, but regular use of that phrase changes how I experience the world and takes my brain back from the brink of that fight-flight-or-freeze place it likes to go!)

Keep in mind that more than anything children want your attention and to feel a positive connection with you. Notice what you are focusing on and what kind of attention you are giving your kids right now. Notice any tendency toward perfectionism. Transitions can be stressful or overwhelming. Stay connected to yourself, your support system and your children in positive ways. That’s what counts the most.

Join us for our live online class, “School Success: Inspire Motivation” which is happening twice this fall – 12 noon, Thursday, 8/31/17 and 8:15 PM, Tuesday, 10/3/17. Register here: https://www.peaceathomeparenting.com/webinar-registration-form/

And remember during these busy days that when you sign up for an online class, you will receive the recording so you can listen later and share with others. Take a breath – You’ve got this!