Guest Blog

PRESENTER: Aaron Weintraub, MS 

Help Your Child with ADHD or AutismDoes your child have trouble connecting with others? Are you unsure about how to help?

Thu, Nov 16, 2017 8:15 PM – 9:15 PM EST

register for free parenting class

Self-awareness and self-acceptance are the foundations of your child’s social life. Parents often struggle to strengthen these capacities in children.

During this live, online class you will gain practical skills that will help your child to:
– Build strong, healthy, lasting relationships
– Become more aware of himself and his surroundings
– Accept herself and accept those around her exactly as they are

Presenter: Aaron Weintraub, MS

Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

babies and sleep routinesSat, Nov 4, 2017
9:30 AM – 10:15 AM EDT

Babies’ brains are prewired to enjoy rhythm and melodies. Including rhythms and song into daily activities organizes young children’s experience and helps them to learn the ways you want to do things in your family. Parents will hear about how to create family routines that work for parents and meet infants and toddlers needs.

Infants and toddlers are learning everyday what to expect from us and from the world around them. It helps when parents recognize what they want to teach their young children and how to do it. Babies’ brains are prewired to enjoy rhythm and melodies and these can be used to teach children positive behaviors and how to connect in positive ways. Participants in this live online class will be able to identify and apply easy, every day practices that:

  • register for free parenting classStrengthen positive connections between parents and young children
  • Help babies and toddlers learn the ways you want to do things in your family
  • Create family routines that both work for parents and meet the needs of infants and toddlers

This live online parenting class is designed for parents of infants and toddlers.

PRESENTER: JoAnn Robinson, PhD 

Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

PRESENTER: Aaron Weintraub, MS 

Help Your Child with ADHD or AutismWhy does my kid act this way?

Mon, Aug 7, 20178:15 PM – 8:45 PM EDT

register for free parenting class

Many parents try punishment or persuasion to help misbehaving or withdrawn children improve their behavior. This online class will help you achieve the stronger connections and positive behaviors you are seeking.

This live online parenting class is designed for parents of children ages 2 – 12. 

Whether children are acting out or withdrawn, the root cause is often anxiety. Participants in this live online class will be able to:

  • Recognize the need that your child’s behavior is communicating
  • Identify ways your own anxiety may be effecting your child
  • Apply and model self-care methods to reduce anxiety in your home
  • Identify root causes of anxiety in yourself and your child
  • Identify and practice sustainable healthy habits to stay calm and happy

Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

register for free parenting classCheck out our FREE 45 minute live or recorded class by registering today!

There is no pressure to attend and registering will simply e-mail you a reminder before class starts if you are available to join live or want to review the recording at your convenience.

traveling with a toddlerTraveling with a toddler this summer? Three tips for helping you and your toddler to enjoy outings to new places:

  1. Tone down your excitement about going someplace new. Young children react to being in new places by looking to us for our reaction. Avoid making a big deal about it, especially if your child is easily startled or clings to you with fear. Being matter of fact will tell your child that it’s safe.
  2. Bring along some familiar food if you are eating a meal away. Of course it is fun to try new foods but it’s amazing how including a familiar food with new ones makes it all feel safe to try.
  3. Try to maintain something like the usual nap and eating times. If your toddler can refuel his/her energy predictably, he/she is more likely to play and enjoy being with lively cousins, aunts, and uncles.
Our FREE infant and toddler online class will review creating routines that work and consider how rhythmic talking and songs are connected to babies’ inborn motivation to be socially connected. Learning our babies’ cues to start, continue, and stop interacting helps us to be in tune during feeding, playtime, and sleep routines. Participants in this live online class will be able to identify and apply easy, every day practices that:
  • Develop and strengthen cooperative relationships with your infants and toddlers
  • Help older siblings and babysitters to participate in your baby’s routines
  • Prevent challenging behaviors of older siblings by practicing kindness in routines that make for a peaceful home
This FREE live online parenting class is designed for parents of infants and toddlers.
Following the class you will be invited to join our private Facebook group  in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Ruth Freeman, webinar trainer, through the Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

See list of all upcoming Peace at Home Parenting webinars >

by Aaron WeintraubMS

Register FREE now for
“Helping Children with ADHD and Autism to Connect and
Cooperate Beta Test” on
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
8:15 PM – 9:15 PM EDT

register for free parenting class

I have worked with many families of children with autism and ADHD over the years and there is one thing that they all struggle with.

How do I know which behaviors are typical child behaviors and which are beyond their control?

In other words:

Which of my child’s behaviors are developmental and which are related to their diagnosis?

Little girl showing set of emotions or expressions on face with cartoons

Parents feel a tremendous amount of guilt around figuring out when they should set behavioral boundaries and when to respond with acceptance and accommodations to meet their child’s sensory or attachment needs. If you enforce a boundary there is the fear that you’ve punished your child for a behavior beyond their control, and if you accommodate there is the concern that you may have let your child get away with a behavior that will not serve them well in their relationships and may escalate. Unfortunately, difficult behaviors associated with the neurotypical stages of child development and those related to the way your child’s diagnosis presents intersect in such a complicated way that it is likely to be impossible to sort them out. So there answer is to sidestep the difficult decision of whether to dig in your heels or accommodate by using these five steps:

Step 1: Validate
Begin by acknowledging and validating your child’s emotion without any qualifiers.

“I can see that you are angry/frustrated/sad right now.”

This helps your child recognize their emotion and models the expressive language to share their feelings.

Step 2: Offer Bounded Choices
Tell them what they CAN do. Offer two choices, one of which is the preferred behavior and the other which is an acceptable alternative that honors their sensory needs.

“You can either play the game with the group, or you can sit here in the shade and cheer them on.”

Step 3: Reinforce
Look for the opportunity to offer positive reinforcement for your child’s choice. Model language in a way that helps them to process the interaction.

“I appreciate that even though you are hot and tired you stayed with the group and cheered everyone on and then rejoined when you felt settled.”

Step: 4: Logical Consequences
If your child understands, but has not chosen either the preferred behavior or accommodation, there is a good chance you are dealing with a good ol’ behavioral issue. In this case your child may be looking for boundaries and it is important to provide them in a logical way.

Step 5: Give Yourself a Break
Unless you are a mind reader of exceptional ability there is no way to be sure you have reacted perfectly to your child’s needs. What you can do is follow your instinct, keep looking for new ideas, and learn from past experiences. Relax. You’re doing the best you can.

By doing your best to stay calm and following the steps above, you can help improve your child’s behavior on the autism spectrum and decrease tantrums and outbursts.

 

Peace At Home Parenting welcomes our new infant/family specialist with two new online classes this summer – “Eat, Play, Sleep” parts 1 and 2. Part 1 is this Wednesday at 10 AM. Parents will hear about how to create family routines that work for parents and meet infants and toddlers needs.

Infants and toddlers are learning everyday what to expect from us and from the world around them. It helps when parents recognize what they want to teach their young children and how to do it. Babies’ brains are prewired to enjoy rhythm and melodies and these can be used to teach children positive behaviors and how to connect in positive ways. Participants in this live online class will be able to identify and apply easy, every day practices that:

  • Strengthen positive connections between parents and young children
  • Help babies and toddlers learn the ways you want to do things in your family
  • Create family routines that both work for parents and meet the needs of infants and toddlers

This live online parenting class is designed for parents of infants and toddlers.

JoAnn Robinson, PhD is a new member of the Peace At Home Parenting teaching and coaching team. JoAnn is program director for early childhood teacher preparation at a major northeast state university and a member of the Board of Directors of the CT Association for Infant Mental Health. She is also a mother and grandmother.

Following Peace At Home Parenting classes you will be invited to join our private Facebook group in which you will have access to a community of caring parents like you, working to apply new parenting approaches. Our Peace At Home Parenting Facebook community will be a place to share challenges and successes. You will also have ongoing regular contact with Peace At Home Parenting teachers and coaches through our private Facebook community.

In addition, you will receive access to free monthly “Question and Answer” sessions in which you will be coached in applying the skills you learned in Peace at Home webinars and again you will connect with other parents working to improve skills.

REGISTER FOR PART I

REGISTER FOR PART II

or Register for Our Summer Special Membership only $37

you will have access to both Part I and Part II plus all additional webinars.

 

Self-Reg Book Reviews

Self-Reg by Dr.Stuart Shanker, published 2016, gives parents an entirely new way of understanding a child’s behavior.

If you want to help your child calm and avoid tantrums, learn to truly calm yourself and stop responding by raising your voice, threatening or punishing your child for misbehaving. The book Self-Reg will teach you how.

Dr. Shanker says it is crucial for parents, teachers and principals to distinguish between self-control and self-regulation. This idea also applies to the distinction between misbehavior and stress behavior.  Parents often struggle with tantrums caused by stress behavior. If the parent or teacher fails to make these distinctions and react to the child’s behavior as if it is a choice to behave badly, chances are the parent responds with agitation or even worst, a raised voice or harsh punishment. Shaker explains harsh punishment will often send the child into a “freeze response” and the adult concludes with some satisfaction that their punishment “worked.” In fact, this type of response can make matters worse, adding to the child’s stress level and tantrum behavior.

If you have a “sensitive child,” they might have a very delicate danger alarm deep within the brain, in an area called the limbic system. Your kid may become easily aroused on an emotional and a physical level due to the response of their central nervous system. What your child needs the most is safety and soothing, not threats and aggression. Dr. Shaker describes the functioning of the emotional brain in some detail, but ultimately uses the metaphors of the “gas pedal” which speeds everything up and the “brake” which slows everything down.

If you have a child that is having temper tantrums, emotional meltdowns, or seems to ignore you, then you will find this book an eye-opener. It gives parents a different way of seeing and understanding the behaviors of their child. When parents begin to view their child’s tantrums and other challenging behaviors in terms of “self-regulation in response to stress, arousal and energy levels, rather than in terms of [the lack of] self-control and [the lack of] compliance,” then the parents can begin to think about a whole new way of responding to that child. One of the most important ways of responding differently is that the parent realizes the need to calm their own emotional brain in order to help the child calm theirs.  Learn to first calm yourself to help kids avoid tantrums.  Dr. Shanker calls this “interbrain communication” which is always occurring on an unconscious basis and is more important than words. This is the same process by which most mothers and many fathers sooth their infants intuitively. But if parents are unhappy, even slightly annoyed or agitated with a child’s behavior, this is stressful to the child in and of itself and is more likely to increase, not decrease tantrums.

This book was exciting for me to read as a professional who works with parents with children who struggle with their self-regulation. I wish there were more practical tools to help parents calm their own limbic systems (emotional brains) and that of their child. The parts of the book that tell personal stories of parents and children help illustrate the concepts Dr. Shanker is describing. These parts are helpfully set off with a different print and borders for easy referencing.  If you are a parent who suspects your child might have a self-regulation problem and you are seeking a better understanding of what your child is experiencing and how you can respond in a more helpful manner, I highly recommend this book.

Joe L. Freeman, LCSW

 

Michelle Jacobik, is a Financial Wellness Coach with a private practice in Connecticut. She has successfully led individuals around the country in rebuilding their financial foundations. Using her budgeting tools, debt reduction planning, and saving techniques she helps clients create realistic changes in order to forge their way in getting rid of debt payments and reclaiming their #1 wealth building tool… their INCOME.

Michelle is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst & Founder of Prosperity After Divorce for Women. She specializes in helping divorced or divorcing women regain their financial footing as they write the next chapter of their story.

You can learn more about her practice and offerings at www.michellejacobik.com  or catch her on Facebook at “Michelle Jacobik” OR “Prosperity After Divorce for Women”. You can also request a 30 min FREE Introductory call with her at https://michellejacobik.com/book-appointment/

 

Learn more about  teaching your kids financial responsibility >

Alex’s Dream Car

Guest post by Michelle Jacobik

My son revealed to me at age 14, that he wants his first car to be a Cadillac STS.

My daughter wanted a Jeep. Some kids want BMW’s, Mercedes, Audi’s or Land Rover’s to drive but it doesn’t mean we can run out and get them what they want.

We usually make sure that the purchase is a realistic one that makes sense. One they can afford to buy on their own (for some), or one that they can contribute to (for others).

Some kids are given their first car, but most parents aren’t buying their sixteen year old a new BMW.

Teachable Moments

There are many ‘teachable’ moments in terms of ‘finances’ that we can use in guiding our children. The ‘first car’ is one of them.

Putting your kids on a ‘commission’ at an early age and paying them once a week for their chore list, instills that they earn when they work.

They gain a sense of ‘ownership’ and ‘pride” in their efforts. They get to watch their efforts accumulate and they can set goals for how they will use THEIR money.

My son Alex is diligently saving HIS money as of this writing for his first car. I had established early on (age 12) that I am not buying him his car (same with his sister 3 years ago so he knows I’m serious) I will ‘match’ what he saves up to $3000.

I had to set a threshold, because Alex WILL work and save diligently to get the car he wants which could have turned out to be a $14,000 ‘first car’. Let’s face it, when it’s their funds they are using, they make more calculated decisions, versus when we are picking up the tab.

When we let our kids know that we aren’t paying for all they want because we already provide what they ‘need’ they may at first seem slighted, but they come around eventually.

Learning

They learn patience.
They learn contentment.
They learn to negotiate.
They learn to shop and research.
And most importantly they learn they are capable.

I believe these qualities are so important and if I can use the ‘first car’ as a way of invoking them, it’s a win win for both of us!

Have you thought about milestones that you can use to raise financially responsible young adults?