happy mothers day family

Parents: Teach Your Brain to Practice Gratitude

Peace at Home May 1, 2017 | Ruth Freeman

Our brains are like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones. We notice, remember and focus on the negative far more effectively than the positive.

There are two important things about this biological fact for parents:

  • You are more likely to notice your child’s misbehavior than positive behavior. And since you notice it, you will be more likely to give your child attention for her negative behavior. Since children long for attention – especially from you – you are likely to be rewarding misbehavior with plenty of attention and overlooking lots of positive behavior that your brain just doesn’t notice on its own.
  • Your children will grow up with this same focus on the negative unless you help them train their brains otherwise.

Some of us are born with a “glass half-full” temperament so this tendency on the part of our brains may be minimized somewhat in those cases. However, this neurological inclination to notice and remember the negative is true for everyone, especially under stress. So what can you do?

Your brain can be trained in the same way you train your body at the gym. Practice, repeat, practice, repeat and you get stronger. One simple training you can provide yourself and your child are practices of gratitude. Not only do these train your brain to focus on the positive, but they also change the atmosphere of your family and influence your children’s behavior toward more cooperation.

In our family we held hands before dinner every evening and each person said one thing he or she appreciated about the day. It helped settle everyone down for the meal, made it more of an “occasion,” and helped us hear a little about each other’s day and view of the world. Perhaps most importantly, it taught our brains to scan each day for the positive. And with practice, your brain gets better and better with that underlying search for the positive. We continued to say our mealtime “appreciations” through adolescence and to this day even though they are all adults. Now our kids are doing it with their kids. It is a legacy I am proud to pass along.

For more parenting support, join us for an Upcoming Live Workshop, browse our Libraries of Quick Video Solutions and check out our podcasts and other resources.  Questions? Email us at Solutions@Peaceathomeparenting.com or learn more about our Corporate, School and NonProfit programs.

TOPICS

Related Posts

Peace at Home

Is “Work-Life Balance” Impossible? And Why Does it

With the lines between work and home forever blurred, the challenges faced by working parents have been magnified.

Peace at HomeMarch 21 , 2024
Peace at Home

Motherhood Penalty at Home and in the Workplace

Peace At Home founder, Ruth E. Freeman, LCSW recently sat down with inspiring Peace At Home teacher, Lucinda

Peace at HomeJanuary 23 , 2024
Peace at Home

Navigating Your Child's Concerns about Their Friend's Mental

When your child comes to you with concerns about a friend’s mental health, you are in a position

Peace at HomeJanuary 03 , 2024
Peace at Home

Gratitude is More Than Saying Thank You 

University of North Carolina Psychology Professor, Andrea Hussong, has conducted research on one of the most important questions

Peace at HomeNovember 22 , 2023
Peace at Home

Revamp Your Morning Routine with a Dash of

We all want to start our day with a sweet family connection before going our separate ways. But

Peace at HomeOctober 18 , 2023
Peace at Home

Give the Gift of Family Stories at Holiday

Family meals are associated with better school performance, fewer behavior problems and lower risk of substance use in

Peace at HomeOctober 16 , 2023

Join our mailing lists for more parenting tips

Peace at Home